Nedra Glover Tawwab is the therapist we all wish we were (okay, maybe that’s just me, but she really is fabulous). This is by far my most recommended book to clients and friends alike. It’s a clear, practical guide to understanding what boundaries are, why they matter, and how to actually set them - even when it feels awkward or risky. One thing I really value is that at the end of every section, she bullet-points what setting boundaries might look like in that situation. If boundaries are new to you, or you’re trying to work out how they might look in your own life, this is incredibly helpful. Tawwab covers everything from saying no without guilt, to dealing with people who push or ignore your limits, to protecting your time and energy. She gives scripts, examples, and the kind of straight-talking advice that makes you feel braver about speaking up. She also has a great Instagram, and I like her newsletter too.

I love this book because it demystifies attachment theory and shows clearly how it might be playing out in your relationship. Understanding your attachment style - and how it shows up - can be a game changer. Many of my clients have found this incredibly helpful. Often we can be tempted to think that if only our partner was more X or more Y, or changed that one thing, then everything would be okay in our couple. Julie Menanno, an American couples therapist, flips the script, pointing out that most relationships have a negative cycle that both partners co-create - and that can be changed. She encourages you to see the cycle as the enemy, not your partner, and to own your contribution to it. This book doesn't stop at theory: Menanno offers practical strategies to understand and own your behaviours, and to change them. It is clear, accessible, and full of insights you can apply not only to your romantic relationships, but also to friendships and even work dynamics. If you enjoy her approach, check out her Instagram too - her little bird drawings on attachment are as insightful as they are adorable. Here’s her website.

A lot of my male clients like Jimmy on Relationships, and I can see why. I like him, too - and with 3.7 million Instagram followers, I’m clearly not the only one. Jimmy is open about mistakes he’s made in the past, and he wants to pass what he’s learned on to you. I enjoy his role plays, where he often plays both parties in a relationship; but he’s actually exploring important topics that can help you navigate your relationships more successfully. He might look at attachment styles, communication differences, your sex life, or the signs of narcissism in a way that’s very accessible. I often recommend him to people who want to understand their partner’s perspective or demystify dynamics in a relationship.

Therapy in a Nutshell does what it says on the tin. It’s full of short, practical videos offering psychoeducation and practical strategies for dealing with common challenges. Emma McAdam, a licensed marriage and family therapist in the US, covers a wide range of issues - from “What’s the difference between a panic attack and an anxiety attack?” to “How to stop catastrophising” to “How to tackle insomnia and sleep better.” Although I would always recommend working with a therapist if you can access that, she’s an absolutely brilliant free resource for any of us.

Nedra Glover Tawwab strikes again with this brilliant book on managing unhealthy family relationships. Sometimes the drama comes from the people we’re around right now. Sometimes it’s patterns or dynamics that have been there for years. Tawwab helps you work out what’s fuelling the conflict in your family - whether that’s emotional neglect, addiction, absence, or something else - and gives you clear steps to protect your peace. What I like about her approach is that she gives practical examples of what managing the drama might look like, so you can move from theory to practice and actually make changes.

This is probably the most famous book on trauma - and it’s been on the New York Times bestseller list for around five years, for good reason. Van der Kolk blends science, case studies, and decades of clinical experience to show how trauma shapes both brain and body, and why recovery often needs to involve the body as well as the mind. He shares a range of approaches - from EMDR and trauma-focused therapy to yoga, neurofeedback, mindfulness, theatre, and creative expression - and makes it clear there’s no “one size fits all.” It’s a big read, and some examples are graphic and can be triggering. If you’d like an easier entry point without those heavier sections, I recommend the Therapy in a Nutshell YouTube summary. It captures the key ideas - including how trauma impacts the brain, body, and relationships - and explores these recovery options in under an hour.